Adopting a Pet: Why Slowing Down Might Be the Kindest Thing You Do
, by Majella Gee, 10 min reading time
Adoption tugs at the heart.
You walk into a shelter wanting to help. You see the eyes. You read the story. You picture that animal curled up in your home, finally safe.
And just like that, you’re emotionally invested.
There is nothing wrong with compassion. But compassion without preparation is where things unravel.
After more than forty years working with companion animals and wildlife, I’ve seen this pattern over and over again: people adopt with their hearts racing ahead of their reality. And when reality catches up, it’s not just the animal that pays the price.
You Do Not Have to Decide on the Spot
Shelters are overwhelmed. Staff and volunteers are exhausted. Animals are waiting. Of course there’s urgency.
But urgency does not mean you must make a lifelong decision in 30 minutes.
You are allowed to walk away and think.
You are allowed to go home and discuss it.
You are allowed to say, “I need time.”
Taking your time does not make you heartless. It makes you responsible.
The Breed You Dreamed of May Not Suit the Life You’re Living
One thing I hear constantly is:
“I’ve always wanted one of these.”
Often that desire started years ago. Maybe even in childhood. A neighbour had one. A movie featured one. A friend owned one. And the idea stuck.
But life changes.
Your work hours may be longer now. Your health may be different. Your home environment may not suit a high-energy breed. Your tolerance for noise, mess, or training intensity might not be what it once was.
Wanting a particular breed doesn’t automatically mean that breed fits your life today.
The right pet is not the one you once imagined.
It’s the one that suits who you are now.
The Quiet One in the Corner
Let’s talk about the one hiding at the back of the enclosure.
The one who won’t make eye contact.
The one shaking.
The one who looks like a “sad little sack.”
It is deeply human to want to save that one.
But here’s the part people don’t always want to hear.
That animal may be carrying trauma.
They may struggle with confidence.
They may find visitors overwhelming.
They may not cope well with children.
They may react to other pets.
They may need months — sometimes longer — to truly settle.
That doesn’t make them unworthy.
It makes them a bigger commitment.
Adoption isn’t just about whether you feel sorry for an animal. It’s about whether you are equipped — emotionally, financially, practically — to support the animal you’re choosing.
Some adoptions require patience.
Some require training.
Some require professional behavioural support.
Some require a complete adjustment of expectations.
If you are ready for that, wonderful.
If you are not, that’s not failure. That’s honesty.
Returns Hurt More Than People Realise
When a pet is returned, it’s traumatic.
For the animal, it reinforces instability and loss.
For the family, it brings guilt, shame and disappointment.
For the shelter, it adds pressure.
Most returns are not caused by cruelty.
They’re caused by mismatch.
Mismatch of energy.
Mismatch of lifestyle.
Mismatch of expectations.
And mismatch is preventable — if we slow down at the beginning.
Adoption Done Right
Adoption should not feel like a rescue mission completed in one emotional afternoon.
It should feel steady.
Thoughtful.
Considered.
Ask hard questions.
Be realistic about your routine.
Be honest about your limits.
Think beyond the first week and into the next ten years.
When adoption is done properly, it is life-changing in the best possible way.
When it is rushed, it can be life-changing in the worst.
Slowing down is not unkind.
Sometimes it is the kindest thing you can do.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re considering adoption, you may also find helpful reading in my earlier guide: Choosing Wisely: A Comprehensive Guide to Choosing Your Perfect Pet, which looks at lifestyle compatibility across species and breeds.
For those thinking specifically about bringing a dog into their lives, my book So, You Want to Get a Dog? walks through the practical, emotional and financial realities most people don’t fully consider until it’s too late.
Education before emotion is not cold.
It’s protective.
For you.
And for the animal.
©Majella Gee February 2026
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